The Fool: Tell an embarrassing story.
Ok so 2 years ago I was going to a tiny one day con with some of my friends because my friend Alister had a table there. It was like a 2 hour drive so we all got in the car and we were driving out to butt fuck no where for this tiny con and we got really hungry so we wanted to stop somewhere for breakfast. We ended up stopping at a Dunkin Donuts.
Now, just a bit of background info, I was test running my Caliborn cosplay in full makeup and prosthetic for the first time. I was completely green.
Since I have no shame I was like fuck it I’ll go in to get these donuts so I go in as Caliborn and the people at Dunkin Donuts are like haha funny and it was what you would expect, but the real embarrassing part happened when I was leaving the store.
I can’t wear my glasses with my Caliborn prosthetic because it looks weird and they don’t sit on my face right so I was like whatever everything will just be a little fuzzy. I was walking back to the car holding a box of a dozen donuts and I grab the door handle to the back seat and sit down and I’m about to close the door when I look in at the front seat and realize tHIS IS NOT ALISTER’S CAR.
THERE IS A MAN IN HIS FORTIES MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH THE GREEN ALIEN WHO JUST SAT DOWN IN THE BACK OF HIS CAR.
I MAKE SILENT EYE CONTACT WITH THIS STRANGER IN HIS CAR FOR A SOLID TEN SECONDS AND I COMPLETELY FROZEN WITH FEAR AND THEN I HEAR ALISTER YELL "SHILOH THAT IS NOT OUR CAR” AND I FUCKING BOOK IT OUT OF THIS MAN’S CAR AND RUN ACROSS THE LOT AND JUMP IN ALISTER’S CAR.
To this day I still think about the trauma this poor man experienced on a quiet Saturday morning in a Dunkin Donut’s parking lot. I wonder what he told his family when he got home.
I WILL NEVER NOT LAUGH AT THIS
I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and